WHITE SAND.:D

almost 3 weeks and counting.and i'm missing the people and things i left back home very much.:))))..T_T..,imagine, i'll be home by february next year.c'mon!but shayne is of no-suicidal tendencies here.it's just 3 months.i'm making the most out of here for i know this could be my first and last time here in BORA, except for the drinking part.no alcohol please!..

CASH.cash is what i need para tuloy-tuloy ang ligaya.give about 5 thousand so i could have my shopping-spree, glass bottom boat, zorb, parasailing, fly fish, island hopping and etc.hehe.:))).my momma would probably disown me.haha.:P


SHORE.where the boys are.:P.joke lang..no boy-hunting here for me..why?cause i don't want to.:D.the shore is nice.not that white though.the SEA.pwe! maalat.haha.HAPDI!


CHICKEN&FISH: that's all i have..i'm just thankful that my friends are considerate of me.i know how much they love pork..i deeply appreciated it much..:P


TEXTING:on leave mode.hehe..I FIND IT kinda WEIRD now!i just can't express myself through texting..baka mag some text missing kasi.:).i'm not really the TALKER (**see older post for a clearer explanation) in personal.i'm much more the listener..i love listening to the stories of other people.[o, chismosa lang talaga ako.hehe]..or maybe, i find my life not so interesting to share.hehe.i just hope i could find someone who could listen to my story ng buong puso.:P.yun bang interesado naman siyang pakinggan ako..



FIT TO POST:char lang!haha..hmmm.i always wanted to be understood..i try the hardest to be understood.and it gives me chills whenever people misunderstood me.huhu.it's really tiring though.nakakapagod magpaintindi sa mga tao.:::some times, i think i can't be myself..i can't be myself cause i might hurt people around me.i can't say what i wan't cause they might misinterpret it..oh well.


19years, NBSB: and still counting.haha..if i had any plans, oo.meron naman.kung may darating.yun nga lang ang problema..i'm not waiting for a lloydie-ish or a gujunpyo look a like.just someone who loves, understands and can take care of me.someone who would not be at ease when i am sick.someone who would cheer me up when i am sad.someone who is happy to make me happy.someone who would scold whenever i skipped meals.someone whom i could talk all day long about anything under the sun.someone whom i could talk about ISLAM.someone whom i could watch romantic and comedy films with.someone who could teach my how to ride a bicycle..someone whom I COULD JUST BE SHAYNE when i'm with him..is that too much to ask?hehe.:D




I DON'T WANT TO BE A SUPERSTAR THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO. I'D RATHER BE A NORMAL ONE AT LEAST I KNOW WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD STICK TO ME WHEN THINGS GO TOPSY-TURVY.:D.
i hope to be understood and loved truly by the people around me.:)




~shayne.:))))

IN TIME!

last Friday, i had an unexpected conversation with an old pal.. i thought it was just a simple conversation that i thought i would eventually forget, hehe.:)..

IN TIME.when, i'm tired pretending about what i really feel and i'm certain about the TRUTH, maybe i could give it a SHOT.but maybe when that time comes, it'll be too late..:P.i don't ask for anything.I'AM happy now and i want to believe I AM..YOU seemed happy and i don't want to spoil that happiness for selfish reasons.


IN TIME.maybe i could give LOVE for REAL.:)

|many times, i consider time as an escape whenever i don't feel doing something NOW.but mostly, TIME betrays me.haha..mabilis kasi lumipas ang panahon, sa bilis ng paglipas hindi ko na namamalayan.and eventually nakakalimutan ko na or else i'll set another escape.(what?wala na ako nakaintindi.:)

but now, whether time betrays me or not, i'll leave this matter in God's will.and IN TIME!

~have this post, sa ikatatahimik ng isipan ko at ng makapag concentrate na ako sa dapat gawin.;)

SHAYNE.:)

FAREWELL SUMMER POST.:D

i've been thinking about this post for weeks but couldn't come up with the right topic. i want to get out with my usual emoish topics...so, now where do i start?

this summer has been the most frustrating summer ever.marami masyadong nangyari.sa sobrang dami, hindi na kayang idaan sa luha para maibsan yung sakit.the only choice you have was to accept it or else malamang nasiraan na ako ng bait.there has been changes na sobrang nakakaloka at nakakadurog ng damdamin.

i've made decisions that could make or break me.

~YOU: whoever you are.i'm so sorry again.it has been months na rin but i guess everything between us is still not okay.i'll wait for the right time that you could talk to me.ang dami kong gustong sabihin at ipaliwanag but i guess when that time comes, you won't need it na.i regret the moment i said that but NOW, looking back, given the same situation, i guess i'd still do the same.bihira ko lang panindigan ang pasya ko, most often, binabawi ko rin kasi hindi ko kaya.i don't know if yung mga kamalasan na dinanas ko this summer has a connection pero wala akong magagawa.it's the consequence of my action that i need to face with my head held high.hehe.


~WEIGHT:well, unconsciously i guess its my choice.i had a choice, MAG-EXERCISE o MAUPO na lang sa tabi.sayang nga lang,hindi ko natapos yung nasimulan ko.for weeks, sumama ako sa tatay ko magJOGGING.kaso, here comes yung earthfill thingy..ilang summer na ang nagdaan and i often thought na summer is the time.the time para pumayat.pero heto ako, mataba at tumataba.i have a choice naman e, TO STAY FAT or TO LOOSE MY FATS.hehe..i guess, i have to choose the option that would help me land a job{hala, ano eto.?}.hate to admit it pero sa malupit na society na ito, mas maganda nga naman kung payat ka lalo na't hotel&resto industry ang gusto kong pasukin.hate to admit it, mas kinikilingan ang mga PAYAT.at dahil gusto ko magkatrabaho, by hook or by crook,hehe.:D.i won't promise na, nauumay na rin ako dun.as always.HOPE FOR THE BEST.!fighting!


~PRENDS: or FRIENDS? this summer, i had felt of being betrayed.hehe.although wala nanaman yung feeling na yun.anyways, matagal na rin naman yun and i won't get any merit on holding grudges unto them..yun nga lang, i think may lamat na sya.naisip ko tuloy, are we really friends or what?


~THE ME: i have always envy people who has great, super duper great personality.i envy them in a way na parang ang dali lang nilang lusutan ang mga problema.dunno.basta, can't explain. BUT AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE LIKE THEM, I JUST REALLY CAN'T.AND THAT'S THE FACT I HAVE TO ACCEPT.:)


~GOODBYES:got to say goodbye to free internet browsing na.hehe.got to say goodbye to free meals.got to say goodbye to my fave past time..tada!WATCHING T.V.got to say goodbye to my beloved and can't live without electric fan...in less than 24 hours, i'll be traveling back na and relived my school life.boring and tiring it may seem but got no choice.hihi.:D



~THINGS WILL FALL IN THEIR PROPER PLACES AT THE RIGHT TIME.:D,`and that's what keep me GOING.

BOREDOM&HATRED

today was a relief in a way.unexpectedly i found someone who could listen to my long list of sentiments.pero syempre yung about sa family ko lang ang nai-sharen ko which is an old issue that i kept within myself.e, kanino ko naman kasi sasabihin.i often listen to other people's story but when it comes to mine, either ako ang may ayaw or i felt like people seemed not to be interested with mine.yun bang, you'll open about your story and he or she would just say, "ahh.".puff, end of conversation..i had enough of those kaya naman seldom na lang ako magtry..

~i guess we were just bored kanina so we just talk about anything.but it was such a relief talaga.i guess, andun pa rin yung pain brought about the things that my MOTHER have said.masyado kasi yun masakit mas masakit pa kesa nung nakalimutan nila ang birthday ko.:(.it took me this long kasi nga gaya nung nasabi ko sa first paragraph, wala naman kasi ako mapagsabihan.hindi ko naman pwede sabihin sa mga kapatid ko kasi hindi naman yun sila nakakausap ng matino kapag seryoso ang usapan.how about my friends?well, i guess they're busy and i don't want to bother me for this little sentiments of mine.

~gusto ko na umuwi.promise..but that i can't do, not until i have it.:).so, i hope for the best.:)

:)

"giganahan" lagi ako magpost ngayon?

due to loneliness lang siguro.

~PENGE PERA..:D

i was just laughing hours ago.thinking oh-so positively.but what happened?all of a sudden i turned into the drama-slash-catch queen.,:(

i need someone to talk to.fortunately someone asked me out for a talk, pero mas malala pa pala problema at drama nya sa buhay.san ko pa ilugar yung akin?funny as it is, i often give advises to people pero yung sarili ko hindi ko man mabigyan..i don't have someone right now whom i could share my feelings.after this, i'll be off to my room again.ALONE.i feel like crying ng bonggang bongga.have you ever felt na ang malas mo?yun bang lahat na lang ng gawin mo may CATCH.yun bang, hind pwede maging madali ang lahat ng bagay.MASAKIT MASYADO.promise.:(.

gusto kong maiyak sa pagkadismaya.gusto kong maiyak kasi i feel like i don't exist.gusto kong maiyak kasi i feel useless.gusto kong maiyak kasi walang kwenta ang personality ko.gusto kong maiyak kasi si SHAYNE ako.:(


gusto kong maawa sa sarili ko kasi para bang pag may problema, kailangan ko harapin na AKO LANG, ako lang.tulad ngayon, ako lang...


~~i'm oh-so hurt today and never felt this alone not until now..:(

~SHAKEN&BROKEN

this post would be a contrary on my post on facebook some time ago but i guess there's always an exception.:)

on my way back here, i've thought of this thing...MALAS BA TALAGA AKONG TAO? not in a way na i have really nothing.syempre, i'm blessed din naman compared sa ibang tao. what bothers me is that lahat na lang ng bagay involving me needs a catch. take for an instance, yung supposed trip.

~HINDI NAMAN TALAGA AKO MATALINO, NAG-AARAL LANG AKO NG MABUTI.:).but people would say, "hmm.pahumble ka lang".but the truth is hindi.compared to other people, olats na olats ako.i feel na yung level of thinking ko is not suited for my age.hindi dahil sa genius ako (na isang malaking HINDI)or what but its the other way around. i think, people my age (19) should be able to think and see things in a manner that holds credibility and very factual.syempre, parang para sa akin there are no more excuses thinking like a high schooler. i think, people my age should have full understanding of the course she have taken.ask me now?i don't even know how to turn a simple dish into a gourmet or what. i can't even hold a tray with glasses without shaking.now, is this what you call globally competitive individual?

~ALAM KO HINDI AKO MAGANDA PERO HINDI RIN NAMAN AKO PANGIT.:).when i was young, madalas ko sinasabi na pangit ako kasi para sa amin, kapag maganda ka, ibig sabihin may asawa ka.and at that age parang sin yun para sa amin.hehe.when i was young, i didn't really care how i looked.when i was young i didn't care if i'm fat, or if my hair is not straight.i had that mantra until 1st yr. high school i think.although people would compliment me, it didn't add to my confidence..what happened?nothing.nothing talaga.i don't know.parang suddenly i had this little confidence na, i'm cute.from then on, i would often refer to myself as cute..what about now?actually, depende sa mood ko..i think, every individual has their own definition of beauty..yung iba, sabi, nasa ugali daw ang tunay na kagandahan.pero admit it, sa mundong tulad nito, beauty is equal to PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.aminin?as hurtful as that pero yan ang realidad..but i still believe na love would conquer all, gaya nung sa MMK.:)

~I WISHED I WAS SOMEONE.:(.when i was young due to insecurities, i wished i was someone else.i would imagine a girl i that has everything i don't have.TALENT, BEAUTY, INTELLIGENCE.i wish i had those..whenever, i'm in deep trouble, i wish i was someone else.naiinis kasi ako sa sarili bakit yung ibang tao parang andg dali dali ng buhay para sa kanila.hindi tulad ko parang kailangan ko talagang dumaan sa butas ng karayom.yun bang i couldn't be relaxed for so long.i have to even doubt when some good news comes or when i get things done easily.and it really sucks.:(


~MALDITA AKO PERO HINDI AKO MASAMANG TAO.:).in born na siguro yung kamalditahan ko.hehe.



~~sabi nila wala naman daw perfect na tao at naniniwala naman talaga ako dun.hirap nga lang akong intindihin kung bakit may mga tao naman na halos nasa kanila na ang halos lahat.yun bang ang mga problema madali lang nilang nalulusutan?pwede magtanong?nung nagsabog ba ng magandang personality ang kalangitan, tulog ang nanay ko?i hate what i'm feeling right now.parang bang insecure na insecure ako.pero wala naman kasi akong mapagsabihan.WALA..maybe a good night SLEEP will do.i hope so.:)

BACKFIRE..

my heart is clouded with too much negative energy nowadays...
gaining weight, pimples, hindi natuloy na trip, walang pera.now, tell me, sino ba naman ang hindi lalapitan ng negative energy and stuffs?

~WEIGHT GAIN: i wonder lang, ganun ba talaga kabagal ang metabolism ko at madali akong tumaba?parang nakaktakot kumain.pero what can i do? i'm just a human being and food is a need. even the law says so: article 111 BILL OF RIGHTS, sec.1: no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law nor shall any person be denied the equal protection of the laws...^anong konek?^..my stomach gets bigger and it really sucks.para kang buntis pero hindi naman..mas nakaka conscious sya actually.i don't intend to have a supermodel body, i just want a smaller tummy.that's it.no more no less..:).honestly, i don't really mind kaso people around me added pressure pa talaga.they would often say,a ng taba-taba mo na.sobrang bumababa talaga yung self esteem ko..and they won't say it once lang.parang when they see you they'd say it over and over and over again.

~PIMPLES: since this second semester, my pipmles are pasted on my forehead like leech.ayaw maalis.o kung maalis man babalik din afterwards..nakakainis na ngang tumingin sa salamin.panira sa itsura.hindi na nga makinis. may pimples pa?[poor].but i guess, partly the blame would go to sleeping late at night.:)

~PENNILESS: at the end of second semester,i've saved like abotu 3thousand? but now, there's nothing left..*lie*.ahm, i have 1thou left pero may pinaglalaanan na ako.for the first time since i've entered college, wala talaga akong pera.there were days na as in zero pesos talaga ako..UTUSAN kasi ako dito sa bahay, tigbili ng mga kung anu-ano, so if may barya, hindi ko na isinosoli.wait, before you raise your eyebrows, barya lang po as COINS.na minsan 2 pesos lang ang worth.yep, ganun na ako kahirap this days..and it's not funny. I PROMISE TO MYSELF, STARTING THIS SEM.MAGTITIPID NA TALAGA AKO NG MABUTI.AND I'LL STICK TO MY BUDGET NO MATTER WHAT..:)

~TRIP MAYHEM: this one really breaks my heart.alam mo yung, okay na lahat then all of a sudden, you'll receive a text message regarding the trip.ang daming catch.ito na siguro yung pinaka magulo na trip ever..yun bang, matatakot ka kapag may mareceive ka na text.kadalasan kasi bad news yun.but i've learned my lesson na from this.HUWAG MAGPADALA SA EGO.panira na EGO YAN.:(.and now we're paying for it.